Reflecting on Modern Masculinity
- Joseph Johnson
- Jun 9, 2024
- 3 min read
As a single father of two boys, I often find myself pondering what it truly means to be a man in today’s world. This week, I was sipping my coffee outside the little yellow coffee van in town, I found myself amidst a conversation that resonated deeply with me. The catalyst was Danny Dyer’s new documentary, "How to Be a Man," which explores the evolving concept of masculinity.
Embracing Vulnerability
As I stirred my latte, I couldn’t help but think about the importance of teaching my boys that it’s okay to express their emotions. "Dyer’s show hit the nail on the head," I remarked to the group. "We need to show our kids that being a man doesn’t mean bottling everything up. Crying is not a sign of weakness; it’s a sign of being human."
Dyer's interviews with male victims of domestic abuse were particularly impactful. It highlighted the strength it takes to acknowledge pain and seek help. "I want my boys to know that real strength lies in being honest about your feelings," I added.
Balancing Strength and Compassion
The voice of the traditionalist often say. "I get it, but sometimes it feels like society is dismissing the value of traditional masculinity. My old man / grandfather / Uncle was tough as nails and provided for us without fuss."
"True, but we can redefine what it means to be strong. It’s about being reliable and protective, but also kind and empathetic. I want my boys to grow up knowing that they can be brave and caring at the same time."
The documentary’s segment with the Brighton Gay Men’s Chorus and various experts underscored this balance, showing that compassion doesn’t diminish one’s bravery.
Fostering Open Conversations
Agony Andy, our resident mental health advocate, chimed in. "You’re absolutely right. Dyer’s show is vital in breaking down the stigma around male mental health. We need to foster an environment where it’s okay for men to talk about their struggles." Something Andy does well as he has a built a community where people can come and talk.
"I couldn’t agree more," I said. "Teaching my boys that it’s okay to seek help and discuss their problems is crucial. I don’t want them to feel the pressure of fitting into outdated stereotypes."
Celebrating Diversity in Masculinity
Simon, usually the quiet observer, offered his perspective. "The documentary did a fantastic job of showing that masculinity is diverse. It’s not about fitting into a single mould but about being true to oneself."
"Exactly," I concurred. "I want my boys to see that being a man can mean many things. It’s about respect, authenticity, and integrity. Whether they’re interested in sports, arts, or anything in between, they should feel confident in their identity."
Conclusion: A Continuing Journey
As we finished our coffees, I realised that our discussion mirrored the essence of Dyer’s documentary: opening up a dialogue about what it means to be a man today. It’s not about having all the answers but about being willing to ask the right questions and embrace the journey.
Danny Dyer’s "How to Be a Man" has certainly sparked a necessary conversation. It’s a reminder that masculinity is not a static concept but a dynamic one that evolves with time and understanding. For me, as a father, it’s about imparting to my boys that being a man means being strong yet vulnerable, caring yet brave.
For those who haven’t seen it yet, the documentary is available on Channel 4’s All 4 platform. It’s well worth the watch for anyone interested in exploring what it truly means to be a man in today’s society
Comments